In reply to a comment I made Dr, Guy made the following remark, "What is more important. Iran or your Daughter's first date?" I instantly found myself flooded with a torrent of images and scenarios, as well as a coming headache. I thought I would step out of my usual MO for posting and demonstrate how it played out in my mind. Humor is not my strong point, but here goes a try. Does any of this sound familair?
NEWS ALERT!
Iran has completed the conversion of enough uranium ore into a gas used for nuclear fuel enrichment to produce a nuclear weapon! Fears rise that it may make its way in to terrorists hands.
Me: "Ok let me see, how do we stand on our plan for a disaster. Everyone know where to go and what to have?"
Daughter: "I really can't think about this now. I told you Dougie was coming over?"
Me (to myself): "Who the hell is Dougie?!?" Outloud: "And who is Dougie?"
Daughter: "Geez, Dad. I can't believe you. He is coming over to take me out for our first date. I told you this a million times and you said it was fine"
Me (to myself): "I did?!? I don't remember that! Early Alzheimer's maybe?" Outloud: "I don't seem to recall that? A date? What is this guy like?"
Daughter: "For crying out loud Dad. Don't you trust anything? Why do you always have to ask so many questions? I don't believe you!"
Me (To myself): "No, I don't trust anything, which reminds me, what about the Iran threat?"
NEWS ALERT!
Sources confirm that Al Qaeda operatives have obtained a working device from Iran and may be en route to U.S.
Me: "Oh my God! We need to be preapred. Everyone know their survival plan?"
Daughter: "You need to take me to the Mall for a new top before Dougie gets here"
Me: "Didn't you just hear what they said? We have to be sure we know what to do if the unthinkable happens"
Daughter: "No, what? Something about a guy named Al having a new MP3 device or something? I can't really think about that right now. I have to get ready"
Me (to myself): "That's right, this guy, who is probably a creep, is coming over to take my daughter away. Wait a minute, what am I saying? We may all be toast soon, get your priorities straight Dan" Outloud: "Who is this guy anyway? I want to meet him before you go anywhere. Wait, I mean we may be getting attacked soon, we need to be sure we know what to do? What time is he coming over anyway?"
Daughter: "Prepared for what? He's a nice guy, fine you can meet him if you have to! He'll be here in 20 minutes"
NEWS ALERT!
Intelligence sources confirm Al Qaeda operatives have entered the country with a nuclear device and estimate we have 20 minutes before detonation!
Me: "Oh my God! Did you hear that? Down to the basement."
Daughter: "I'm not going anywhere, Dougie will be here in 20 minutes and we are going out"
Me (to myself): "That's right, the little creep" Outloud: "I'll decide if you are going anywhere after I meet him. Send him down to the basement when he gets here. If he glows don't let him in. I don't want anyone mistreating my daughter with fallout. If he is disrepectful I am going to retaliate against Iran! What kind of top did you want and does it come with a separate air supply?"
Daughter: "You'll buy me the top? Thanks Daddy, I love you"
Me (big smile): "I love you too, wait! We have to be safe. What am I thinking, what am I doing?"
Daughter: "Mom, why is Daddy writhing in the corner and mumbling? Oh wait! Never mind! Dougie is here. Bye everyone, I'll be back sometime later, I don't know when, but it might be late"
Son: "Mom, should we do anything for Dad?"
Mom: "No, just let him lie, he'll get over it."
Me (to myself): I think I'm dead. Everything seems so surreal. What is that light? It must be heaven. Must go to the light"
NEWS ALERT!
Nuclear Device exploded in remote area. Only one casualty confirmed. Witnesses say disoriented man seen walking toward ground zero just as device detonates mumbling something about "Iran better not touch my daughter's nuclear device". Police think he may have been suicide bomber, more to follow at 11:00.